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4월 9일~11일

4월 9일
막막함
치워도 치워도 끝이 안보인다.
이렇게 가면 ‘안되는데’,’안되는데’ 하면서도 멍해진다.
일단 접고 카메라 수리를 위해 a/s 센터로, 명동에서는 안되고 역삼동 올림푸스 본점으로 가란다. 이미 문닫았을 시간.

시간에 끌려 다닌다.
항상 좀 미리미리 마스터 플랜을 만들어 하면 될 터인데 그걸 못하고 부랴부랴
잘못 구입한 메모리 스틱 교체하고 저녁을 라면 하나로 때웠다
정리하다 취침
한국 방문후 집에서 자는 딥라마에게 끝까지 미안하다.
좀 깨끗한 방에서 자게 해야 하는데 바램 뿐.

4월 10일
06시 기상
07시 옥이 방문하여 딥을 공항에 바래다 주었다.
:뒷정리
무슨복인지 큰 도움,부담 되는 도움으로 주변 정리를 마칠수 있었다.
무엇보다 아파트를 깔끔하게 치워 개운한 마음으로 광주로 내려 갈수 있었다.
더불어 2월과 3월 회사일 결산도 끝!
받은게 많으면 짐 무게도 느는법,이를 어찌 해야 할지 모르겠다.
터미널까지 편하게 가서 21시 05분 차로 광주행
책을 사려고 영풍문고에 갔다 나오면서 군대시절 소대원을 만났다.
긴가 민가 해서 멀찍이 서 “안태민” 하고 물렀더니 고개를 두리번 거린다 “빙고”
8년만에 만났는데 직장생할 접고 공무원(경찰)준비를 하고 있는데
여자 친구가 여수에서 올라와 배웅하는 거란다.

:가족
가족관계에 대해 심사
내 핏줄이 그리 중요한 걸까?.
항상 그런걸로 맘을 상했으면서도 표현 안하다가 이번에 말했다.
서로를 아프게 하는걸 뻔히 알면서도 안하면 내가 못 견딜것 같아서
“상민아, 강민이 아파도 삼촌이 넘 보고 싶으니 터미널로 나와라”
“강민이 감기 걸려서 못가게 했어요 그리 아세요,아니면 다녀 가시는 것이”
“언제 볼지 몰라서 그러는데”
“어제 어쩌고~~.오늘은 어쩌고~~”
“됐습니다.”
그래도 우리 상민이 많이 컷다고 전화 한다”삼촌 미안해”
그리고 한마디 “삼촌 사랑해요”

By 이 현조

하얀 산

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